Baby Boy, Utah, and the Present

Super duper long over due post but it's now or never. OHMYGOSH.

It's really December guys! December.... 

Not much to update. Husband dearest is finishing up his first semester of year THREE of UTSW! Whattt??? 아싸라비야나이스붕붕!!!! Can I just say.. having husband gone every third day has been awful. The surgery rotation he was on was absolutely horrible. Our schedules were complete opposite and we barely saw each other. I came to really hope for moments with David. And when we were granted with time here and there, I truly appreciated it. Appreciated David. Heavenly Father really does have these intentional "teaching moments/learning curves.." 

With the holidays and such, I've been thinking of family. And time.

Living countries and States away from family is so hard. My family has had to do it for quite some time. The moments when all six of us were together, all at once, was pretty slim. Family, it's a weird thing. You have no choice to see the very best and the very very worst in a human being. You hate them with all your guys yet your the first person to defend them when others start to criticize them. 

I was able to fly out (awhile ago, back in Oct) and visit (some of) my family. Who am I kidding.  I went solely to see this baby boy. Cutest bundle of fatness joy!! Oh his squishy cheeks are absolutely delicious!

It's crazy! He's grown so much... Oh how time flies.. 

Visits to Utah also requires gab-fests with friends. There's a saying in Korea that says if you have three friends that you can count on, you've lived a successful life. I'm lucky to have such jewels in my life because I can count at least three friends that I trust in a heartbeat.

I've been thinking a lot about time. Have you ever thought about how we never appreciate time?
Our past mostly filled with regret, and how we're so concerned about our unknown future. We spend too much time living in the past, worrying about the future, we rarely live the moment and enjoy the present..

 We're all allotted the same amount of time. Unlike money or any other tangible thing, we cannot save it, borrow it, or share it with others. We have the same amount of time. But the way we use time will result in a different life overall. Kinda scary, huh? {Of course I start trying to calculate how much time I waste on Social Media. Darn you FB and YouTube. Oh, and Instagram. I've become a slave, completely addicted to my phone.. I'm thinking about Social Media fast.. What do you think? Yay or nay?} Anyow, going back to "time," I recently read a book called, "the Present" by Spencer Johnson. It's good. Inspiring in an informative way. Maybe it's the aftermath of the book or maybe because I'm turning the dirty thirty next year but I'm realizing again and again the importance of making the most out of the present.

“If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.”

-Lao Tzu

Oh Utah, my beautiful Utah. 

Anyhow, I'm grateful for the chance I had to fly out and see my family and get in tune with mother nature again. And, glad my mind is clouded with random thoughts that come here and there. It pushes me to do better. Become better. First day of the last month of 2015! What will you do to make it worthwhile?

Attitude of Gratitude

Wow. We’ve fallen into Fall already! Can you believe it? I know I always say this but my oh my does time go by.. 2015, last year of moi being in my twenties. As the year inches near to an end, I’ve been thinking. A lot.

I then sat down and read through my journal (of 2015) to see how this particular year has treated me, us, so far. My heart cringed to read through some of these. I was shocked to see so much negativity, self-doubt, and regret were the main emotions that filled up the pages. I went back and started reading my journals I started since our move to Dallas.

One of the first few entries was one made at Church. I believe it was our second week in Dallas.

8/11/2013

“How to live with an attitude of gratitude.”

    1.     Studying the Gospel with prayers

    2.     Service

    3.     Story about an experience during mission (given by a brethren): During the first week of his mission, he walked into a house. Because of the families’ financial situation, their humble home seemed to be crumbling. It was old and dirty. He felt as if I would catch a disease just standing there. It stood out because it’s exactly what I needed at that moment. A year later, with his companion, he was able to visit a “heavenly apartment.” It was so clean, and the family offered a feast. The home was peaceful. Later on, he found out it was the same apartment he visited the first week of his mission! All that changed was his ATTITUDE.

the big D

I thought about President Monson. He continuously reminds us to have an attitude of gratitude. Continuously. Since we so easily forget of our blessings our Lord has given us and we too easily focus on what we do NOT have. Going back to my journal, seldom did I write my stories with hope and gratitude. Why did I let fear take over faith when my life is filled with so many blessings? For the remaining year, my goal is to focus only on things that bring light into my life.

 It’s amazing how having an attitude will change one's perspective. Yes, my heart still longs for Utah and misses it oh so much. But, I'm falling in love with Dallas.

I love how Dallas can be both a busy, bustling city and at the same time be.. so.. southern/country. I love that Dallas calms my heart, quite literally. I’m grateful for all the people I’ve been able to meet in Dallas. And, I’m enjoying learning to live in such a diverse place. It’s been an eye/mind-opening experience and I’m loving how it’s helping me learn to live outside of Utah. I’m sure God had a reason. I will continue to trust Him while I learn His will.. 

Now, seems like fitting into this grand Southern State means the following things:

• Driving like a maniac- did I mention I only got my license three years ago? 
• Believing in guns and God- I believe in one of the two, meet me half way.
• and, eating lots and lots of fried food- and so we did..

Husband dearest and I went to the State Fair, first time ever.

And we feasted on, surprise, fried food.

Fried cheeseburger with fried french fries inside.
Oh, and an apple crumb pie shake.
Where can I find this delicious "slice-of -heaven" of a drink regularly?

Fried chicken waffle on a stick! My favorite fried food so far!!!

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ 돼지 데이빗

My penny-pinching husband was so thoughtful to bring me here. Even though we spent maybe a little too much $, this date at the State fair was my romantic Notebook" moment. Thank you, dearest husband of mine.

David and Diana. Us. We.

End of Summer

Woah, summer of 2015 really came to an end. And husband started year THREE at UTSW. It still feels like summer here in Dallas - shorts, skirts, and 90 degree weather. I'm so jealous when I see the obvious wardrobe changes happening in the entire country when I'm still pulling on my skirts and sandals. Fall, hurry along por favor~

Out of all the seasons, Fall makes me super nostalgic of Utah.. All the magic happened during Fall semester- pretended to study the most, first kiss, homecoming dance, football, hiked the Y.. Anyhow, I was missing Utah so much I went and bought a ton of candles that have that fall scent- pumpkin, buttercream (?), salted caramel.. Yeah, husband was not happy with all the money I spent. I told him it reminded me of Utah and these candles made me less sad.. 

This weekend, I pulled myself away from Nextflix, my book, and my box of Lindt chocolates and let husband dearest take me to downtown Dallas for the firt time. Did I mention this is year three in the big D? There was a cool even going on in the Arts District. I secretly think husband took me since they had a Korean food truck (kimchi tacos and kimch fries guys!!) and a bunch of Korean performances going on at the Crow Museum because of Chuseok (Lunar Thanksgiving). Isn't he just so thoughtful? As if I hadn't gotten enough of Korea this year...

I was thinking "downtown, outside, in this heat? Amongst the hordes of people?" Surprisingly, we had a blast. I savor the precious moments we have together. I was complaining how hot I was and begged for a cupcake (cupcake, the cure to heatstrokes). When he handed me my blueberry lemon cupcake, I fell in love with him all over again. Putting my needs AND wants first.. I guess I'd better be a little nicer to him.

Anyhow, I'm determined to get out of my comfort zone and explore more. What are some fun things to do around Dallas? After all, we might be moving away in less than two years...... Gotta enjoy the big D while it lasts..

Three Down, Forever To Go..

Blogging has been the last thing on my mind but if I don't document it somewhere, I won't have anything to look back on to remind me of this special day. While David and I were busy chewing through our food and enjoying each other's company (during our anniversary dinner) I tried to think of what we did last year.  My mind went blank. What did we do? ... When I asked my Chinese man, he also was clueless. Age is finally catching up..... Fearing I'll soon forget these precious memories I share with my dear husband, here is my attempt at another cheesy post about us. Bear with me.

You and I

He took me to my favorite restaurant in Dallas! 

Say what? THREE smoking years with this babe. It seems like only yesterday when we were both trying to woo each other while trying to finish up our last year of college. Can't believe it's year three as being Mrs. Eng. I've spent almost half a decade with this man..

Marriage is never easy. Sometimes I think an additional year comes with additional trials... I'm learning that these trials are necessary for a stronger relationship between not only husband and wife but also with God.  Keep throwing these learning curves at us... Together, we can overcome anything..

David and I try to balance our marriage with medical school (rotations for David) and my full time job. Plus the chores and errands that comes along with marriage. Toss in Diana's emotions that comes in waves. We also can't forget about Diana's nagging either...  But, luckily, we have David's patience and logic that balances out Diana. David and Diana always belong in the same sentence, don't they?

The past few months have been overwhelming for me. I was in my motherland for work. I've been tested in every possible way. Teaching has always been my calling, it's in my blood. I'm in love with my job. Yet,  I've never been given so much responsibility, never felt so incompetent, insecure.  I understand that it's a learning curve. And throughout my trip, I've fallen numerous times. There were times I just refused to get up,  dust away the past and move on... Even though he was continents away, whenever I fell, he was there to catch me and prevent me from giving up. 

My love

I'm such a flawed person. Imperfect in every imaginable way. But he loves me as I am. I hope the years I've spent with him have helped soften up my difficult personality. I hope some of the selfishness I came with has been replaced with his selflessness.  He gives me faith. Together, we hope. 

Marriage: 

"4 cups of love

3 cups of forgiveness

2 cups of loyalty

1 cup of friendship

5 spoons of hope

2 spoons of tenderness

4 quartz of faith

1 barrel of laughter.."

Here's to another year that will be filled with joy, laughter, trials, tears, anger, disappointment.  But dearest husband, I'm glad it's you by my side. I will continue to enjoy our never-ending story. 

Happy Birthday Diana!!

Today is Diana's birthday (in Korea, 5/27)!  As per our tradition, this is my annual blog post.  Unfortunately, I cannot be with Diana today because she had to go to Korea for work :(  which means... party time!!!  Just kidding.  The only partying that has been going on has been USMLE Step 1 partying.

She's only been gone for less than a week, but I've already regressed back into my old bachelor ways: frozen pizza, instant noodles, clothes on the floor, a sink of unwashed dishes.  In fact, I think I've already gained about 5 pounds.  As I look at my reflection of squalor in the mirror, I am ever so grateful that Diana chose to marry a man like me. 

Imagine what I would be like without Diana!  She has definitely made me a better person, and I am so honored to have her by my side.  She is the most caring and thoughtful person I know.  She balances my flaws and has taught me what it means to love.  Even though she is having a blast in Korea, she still worries constantly about me and wonders if I am eating right.  Don't worry honey, I will make sure to take care of myself when you are away!

All of you who know Diana know what a great friend she is.  She is so generous and kind.  She is a positive influence to everyone she meets.  Unfortunately today she will be thousands of miles away, so please wish her a happy birthday!

Throwback to when we were just friends!

We've come a long way since then!  Happy Birthday Diana!

As Our Paths Separate

This post is so overdue but better late than never. I flew out to Utah last month to meet my newborn nephew. As I was getting ready for my flight, I realized a trip to Utah might be the last time all my close friends will be in the same city, let alone same state. This is why I dragged them out at the crack of dawn in 20 degree weather into the canyons for a glamorous photo shoot. Thank you Maya Inoue for the pictures. Even though Rachel groaned about how no one would bloody look good at 8am in the morning, I think we could pass for K-pop stars, no? Maybe it is Maya's amazing skills but I dare say we look darn good!

 

My friendship with all these lovely ladies mean the world to me. As we were walking, laughing, grumbling (ahem Rachel),  I couldn't help but realize how different our lives were compared to when we first met. How bittersweet... I marveled at how far we've come along but saddened  that our adventures together might come to an end.

We were on the same path called college for quite some time. That long journey threw some curve balls at us--school itself, grades, boys, sometimes our faith, sometimes our family. But together, we made it through. Now that we've finished that journey, we're each starting to tread along our own separate paths. And to look back to see what we've all accomplished over the years, I'm confident we will all do well. No doubt about that.

 

Oh how the years have gone by. It seems like only yesterday when we were all so naive.  I'm grateful for the trials that were thrown at me and you. Thank you, world, for teaching me a lesson or two, but the greatest lesson I learned was to have you guys in my life.  Until we're gray and wrinkly, I hope our friendship never dies. 

 

Sarang <3