Moi Green Babies

Every time I scroll down the FB news feed, I pause to linger at a picture of a baby or toddler that a proud mommy posted. At church, when I really should be paying attention to the meetings, all I really do is stare at all the chubby little babies that are crawling around or squirming for freedom in their mommy's bosom. And my oh my they are so freaking adorable! One family has four girls and literally every Sunday, one of them throws a very shrilling tantrum, especially the third one. She yells at her dad, "stop touching me." I think she's maybe three.. lol. The dad is bald. David believes daughters will do this to their dad. He shudders at the thought of having only girls while I daydream of frills, lace, rainbows and butterflies.

 It doesn't help that I have these adorable nieces and my sister-in-laws posts pictures on FB all the time. Once I asked David if Matt and Alissa might let us borrow Libby. Or if one of his sisters would let me be their nanny if we moved to Texas.  His oldest sister has thee girls (my ideal), and Kate just had a baby. (I just need to hold a baby right now... Anybody?? ) Rachel, bless her heart, has three boys. (You're going straight to heaven Rachel)! He thinks I'm creepy, which I probably am.When I am exhausted out of my mind at work or having a bad day, I ask my sister-in-law Alissa for a video of Libby or I text a friend to send me a picture of their baby..

And there you have it, I am baby hungry, very very baby hungry to the max.

Unfortunately, I do not have the privilege to carry my own child due to my abnormal heart. David and I will either have to adopt or seek out for a surrogate mother. Sigh. Sometimes, life is so unfair. I know I'm being childish and ungrateful. Being born with a messed up heart, I should be grateful for the fact I am alive this very second and breathing in this (horrid) Utah air. But, when life seems so normal, you forget to count your blessings and become selfish. Sometimes, I ask God why He refuses to give me what I want most and end up angry. It's the 'if you loved me, why won't you give me what I want?' childish and bratty phase I go through.. All I want is my own children! Is that too hard to ask? Everyone else around me seems have countless little munchkins surrounding them but me.

Well, since we need to patient and wait until we have enough money to adopt or find a surrogate mother (which will really be never) I decided to fill my emptiness by starting a new hobby (the brilliant idea was mine. All the hard work was done by my very patient husband) - gardening!
Well, for now we are in the testing phase! I actually had given up because the seeds we planted refused to release themselves out of the soil. You darn stubborn seeds!

However, look at these green specks now! Here are my little babies trying so hard to grow. Can't explain how excited I was to see these actually grow. I might have jumped up and down when I saw one of them shyly nudging its way out. heehee. For now, I am content with my green babies.

P.S., Here a some pics of our adventures in the past month.:

First time cooking asparagus.

A day in Provo. Hubs dragged me to a Finance Seminar at BYU specifically for couples. In return, I begged that we spend a night so I could hang out with my girlfriends. I love the hubs but was itiching for some girl time!
Btw, Emily and Rebecca are single. Only the brave get the beautiful!!

My one and only-  Love dragging him to Barnes and Nobles.