Youngest sister, Em

David and I are leaving the Beehive State. It's slowly starting to hit me now and I everything but happy. It sounds silly because I have complained about being a Utahn and how it is the loser state of all fifty.
I made sure I voiced my (honest) opinions about Utah. Or have I? Now that I think about leaving this place, my emotions take over.. After all those years (almost eighteen) I am in love with Utah and this 이별 will be difficult. What I am most upset about is having to part with my friends (physically). The friends I met at BYU has by far been the most amazing, influential friends.Asian, same Gospel and similar values.. Will I ever find friends like the ones I have?  I am not not not ready to leave them. So, please understand if some of the following posts are too emotional, too personal and what not. It's my way of recording the memories I have made in Utah with my precious friends. And, it's the only chance I get to publicly embarrass them. Starting with the youngest one of all, Emily Han.

Conference. Good old Stonebridge. Work-Security Metrics. Yamato- first time seeing her after I got married.

I have two younger sisters-Grace, and Emily. Emily, not by blood or by law but with time has become my baby sister. April 17th is her birthday. She turns sixteen, eighteen twenty two (WHAT?). Davie and I drove down to grab dinner with her and celebrate.

Emily and I met in 2007. She just barely turned sixteen and I was a big hot shot college student. To be honest, she was just a "younger" acquaintance. Her being five years younger than me was a big reason for not want to pursue a friendship. (In Korea, "friends" are only "friends" if you are the same age. They make fun of you if you hang out with younger people and I still was very Korean-minded). To me, Emily was just a dongseng. From 07-09, she would fly out to Utah or Korea and we would meet up a few times year. She was STILL in High School. What a baby! But then, she was accepted to BYU (no surprise there!) and we became bffs. She was closer to my sister, Grace. But since I had no friends, I wiggled my way in. My sister and I lived in SLC at that time and drove to Provo every single day. Oh those days when we would sleep over in Emily's dorm or drag her to SLC (2-3 times a week).  Maybe it was because all the time we spent together or maybe because our parents knew each other or maybe the we're all Korean-American, or, we love boys, makeup and stuffing ourselves with junk food part. Regardless, we easily clicked. 

Emily and I became really close when my siser Grace left to serve a mission. Before then, the longest my sis and I were apart was four months (my first semester at BYU). So, I was really lonely and scared. Emily being at BYU and always being by my side was what helped me survive the first year. Even though I was older, she was my go-to person when I needed help, advice, company. Six months after my sister left, I moved in with Emily. And from then till I graduated, we were roommates.

After all those years together, we consider each other "sisters." You can catch us being mean but we do it out of love (at least I do). She's the one that sacrificed herself and accompanied my mom when I received surgery. The one that felt my fear before. She walked and cried with me on the way to the OR. I remember angrily crying for my sister Grace when waking up. Instead of Grace, my other sister Emily walked over and held my hand while I woke up after surgery.Though struggling in much pain, sad I was, to make her cry over me.[FYI, if you're thinking 'Grace is an awful sister' for bailing out on my surgery, she had just been released from her Mission and was in Korea at that time].

We saw a little too much of each other- roommates, coworkers, same ward. We found other friends and did other things. But, that never stopped the late night snacks, late night talks,gossip- the bonding moments. Eventually, both of us could easily tell when the other had concerns. We couldn't fix the problems but that didn't stop us from lending an ear or a shoulder-support. 

One of the last memories I have of Emily of being a huge support was the second time David and I broke up. Things did not end that well and boy was I angry (that's a story I will save for later). I ran into her room and cried for hours. She held her arms wide open and let me cry out all those angry tears without saying a word. Then we talked. She persuaded me to get over my pride and make up. Thanks to her, I was able to swallow my pride and (obviously) work things out with David.

My dear Emily, sorry to embarrass you so much. You're probably saying "Unni!! You're so blank blank." But I want to let you know I am so grateful to have a friend, sister like you. You brighten up the world with your hearty laugh and that big smile of yours. I will miss us. Getting ready for the day and then for the night with you was always an adventure. When I am at the new place and feeling alone, I will desperately take myself back to the days we had at Stonebridge. Remember those nights we would walk into each others' rooms, plop down on the bed and ask "what is it? Tell me." Then one of us spilled the beans? You would always ask me "unni, how did you know?" and laugh. All those times we went through the heartaches over boys, frustration over school? The daily Smiths runs and the fastfood runs? The times we would start our diet only to end the day by stuffing ourselves with junkfood at the end of the night? I made a promise. When you find your significant other (MEN, she is such a catch. Hurry before you miss out. Be a MAN!) no matter where it is, I will fly out and be apart of your happy day. Even though we will be apart, I will still always be there for you as your unni. To me, you're always the baby sister. I love you so much my little piggy. 

Am I the only one crying now? My sweet little ddongbo! Saragheg dwedgiya!

Us at Haze's Wedding.

4/12/2013. HAPPY BIRTHDAY PIGGY!

Emily and I at my wedding. When David and I got engaged, she asked me  if I was one of her bridesmaid.
So cute my little dwedgi. Thanks for being there on my happiest day. You made it even better.