Golden B-Day!

I turned twenty-seven on the 27th of May. Yikes! That's means in three more years, I will reach the dirty thirties! (No offense to those that are older)! It's one of those things you never think of, growing old. You see elderly people and it's  difficult to imagine they were once held by their young moms that kissed their rosy and chubby cheeks when they were babies. When I see old people, I assume they've always been that old. The young stay young and the old stay old, does that make sense? Anyhow, I've always thought I'd remain as a rambunctious teenager. Never thought I'd be old enough to attend college, get married and have children. In a blink of an eye, I did surpass twenty. Early twenties wasn't too bad. I was old enough to gain my parents' trust but still young enough to be adventurous and at times, rebellious. I loved every second of my early twenties because I had the freedom to concentrate on myself and explore. That all ended two years ago when I turned 25. It was a difficult year to begin with, but the fact that I was actually in my mid twenties... not happy. I remember crying for a good hour that day- still in college without a boyfriend and with a very bleak future ahead. And here I am now, lovEng every day of my life. How life has changed.

I loved every second of my birthday. Can I just say I married the most amazing man alive?  David spoiled me rotten for three whole days and I absolutely loved it. Scrumptious meals; steak and hotpot; tasty desserts; lavish gifts; and overwhelming love. He lied to me about having to work on Memorial Day but when we woke up he rolled over and bestowed me with love and gifts. We ate the most expensive dinner ever (thanks to a generous gift card) and Bruges Waffles! (Bruges Waffles, across from Pioneer Park will change your life!!!) B-day also included a mouth-watering breakfast by the husband. (This rarely happens folks!) I wish every day was my birthday! No cooking, cleaning, and slaving away at work. heehee~

Yes, I admit, the gifts, flowers, and chocolates I received. And ooh, the surprise b-day party he mischievously planned was great too! But, what I loved and appreciated most was he truly did his best to make it the best day for me. Moreover, I was lucky enough to spend my b-day weekend with the people I love. Spending my golden b-day with the ones I love, can I get any luckier? I truly believe Heavenly Father sends us the people we need. I think of each individual person in my life and realize that I am what I am because of not only the choices I make but also the people in my life. How giving, loving, and just our Heavenly Father is. I thank Him with all my heart for sending me so many angels that brighten my life each day. The written language cannot express the love and gratitude I felt for my husband, my sister, and all my friends during this weekend. I especially want to thank my mother, the woman who should truly receive all the congratulating rather than myself. She is the one who gave life to me and had strong faith that I would live a long and healthy life. And, here I am, living and lovEng life as she believed

P.S. 나한테 "생신" 축하해요 라고 한 사람들, 한대 맞을 준비하시구! Enjoy the pictures!

At Grace and Rebecca's. Thanks for the surprise!

What more can I ask for when the sis and the hubs get along so well.?
They are playing a game, not holding hands, fyi.

Hot pot and Bruges! A girl's dream come true!

Nami's special buddy,  Nami, Haeree (both, my diaper friends) and D&D.
Thanks Becca, for taking the picture.

Happy Birthday Diana!

David here.  It's Diana's birthday tomorrow, and for an early birthday present I decided to write a blog post for her!

When I first met Diana, I thought she was not very friendly.  It was my first Sunday at the Asian Ward, and I went up to the bishop's office to turn in my paperwork.  Diana was there, but when I talked to her, she didn't  seem very responsive or happy to talk to me.  That was my first impression of her.

Since then, of course, I got to know Diana much better.  We hung out a lot and became good friends.  Both of us can honestly say that we had no idea that we would eventually get married--yet here we are!  Since marriage, our perceptions of each other continue to change and evolve.  I now see Diana as a rambunctious, fun, and hardworking woman--someone much different from that cold, shy girl in the bishop's office.

Here are some of my favorite pictures of Diana that have made me smile:

This was the first surprise birthday Diana threw for me.  She is always so considerate of her friends and me.  Except when it came to smashing cake in my face!

A lesser-known fact: Diana can't wink!  Whenever she tries, it looks like she's giving you an evil eye.

Those of you who know Diana know that she is probably the messiest eater you've ever seen.  However, it's ok because she makes up for it in cute expressions like this.

Diana looooves donuts.  How can I refuse to buy these for her?? So unfair.

Because we now know each other so well, it's weird looking back at our first encounter, friendship, and courtship and thinking about how little we actually knew about each other.  We had no idea of some of the weird quirks in each others' personalities until now.  Thank goodness she still likes me!

Happy Birthday Diana!

Heart of the Matter

I just got back from an appointment with my Cardiologist. Last one I will have in Utah (I assume).  Most of you know (the few people that read this Blog) but I was born with a very abnormal heart. I myself cannot comprehend the complexities when it comes to medicine. Thus, here goes my attempt to explain in normal people language: I have one ventricle, an extra muscle, don't receive enough oxygen, blue blood and red blood mix all the time, suffer from SVTs (irregular heart rhythm) and other stuff that I'm unsure how to spell.  It's super boring (for me) but super exciting yet concerning in the medical field because my anatomy is very very different even from people that do have similar heart-problems. Every single time I get back, I'm emotionally and physically drained. Sometimes I end up hating life and blame Heavenly Father for giving me such a weird heart.  I dread seeing this particular doc because she never fails to suffocate me with heartbreaking news: no to pregnancy and giving a normal birth; yes to early death; and no you cannot keep your heart but yes, please have a transplant; and all this crazy stuff I've only read or heard about but fail to apply into personal scenarios. 

But, this time it was different. Of course they put me through exams and tests that were way too long, awkward, and tiring. However, the minute I told my doctor we were moving to Texas, she squealed! I told her about the other options we had. But, she said we were wise choosing Texas. She wrote down a fellow cardiologist's name that specializes in adult congenital heart diseases. Unlike any other visit, she spoke as if she could see a future in me. Rather than "ifs" or "soons," she chose words that implied I would have a future. A relatively long one too.  I might have teared up when she said no to pregnancy- since I was young, I've always dreamed of a normal pregnancy and I am a girl. Therefore, can't help it when someone pushes my emotional buttons.

However, rather thinking of what I couldn't have or couldn't do, I quickly listed all the great things I have in life and congratulated myself for making it this far! According to science, I couldn't have passed the age of eight. Obviously, I'm a little bit older than eight so BIG accomplishment! I told David in the midst of deciding between Medical Schools that although I strongly wished to stay in Utah, when I closed my eyes and envisioned the next four years, it always took place in a flat, hot and humid place.

 The urge to move down South never went away. Could it possibly have been the Spirit? Both David and I were bittersweet about the decision we made. He did decline other prestigious medical schools. However, after today's visit, I dare say that Heavenly Father wanted a different path for us. Of course when it comes to medicine, I heavily rely on science and have great trust in it. BUT, from twenty-six years of personal experience, I know with all my heart (although it's a messed up one) I KNOW God trumps all. God has led me to amazing things I never imagined I could have. Therefore, I choose to believe and trust in God.  In God we, the Engs, trust.

Girls' Getaway

Early Saturday morning, six Korean girls piled into Nami's white Subaru and headed off to St.George. Nami and I had planned this trip awhile ago and according to weather.com, our trip would be perfect.

This was our plan :

We would enjoy sunny, cloudless St.George weather on Sand Hallow reservoir swimming and dancing away. We would end up with a sun-kissed tan, glowing and shimmering in the sunlight. After drying off, we would snuggle into our jammies, start a blazing fire and enjoy roasted starbursts and s'mores. Then, we would slip into our sleeping bags and drift into a starry night. 

Like I said, that was our plan. I love making checklists and checking them off by the end of the day. Even though my so-called tasks seem so silly and trivial, at the end of the day, when I see those check marks, I feel so accomplished. And, with this trip as well, I wanted to see all those boxes checked off. For this trip as well, I made a list of things we would have to check off. But, how many of those boxes were marked off by the end of the trip? UGH. Long story short, nothing turned out the way we planned.

On the way to St.George, I was anxious because it rained throughout the entire drive. We could glimpse a blue sky here and there the more we inched nearer St.George. But the blue sky was smothered by clouds... Big, ugly, gray ones too. Sheesh. I was very determined to "camp out" and check off my list: swim, s'mores, fire, star-gaze. Thus, I urged our crew to stop by Walmart and purchase the necessaries, drove into Sand Hallow and dove into the lake. However, it was freezing cold. 88 degrees, yeah right! All six of us barely dipped our legs in the lake. I was getting super annoyed because nothing was turning out the way I had planned. I might have tried to prove that we would have fun swimming so I literally plunged into the water- big mistake. I might have said a bad word or two... After an hour or so, we saw the big ugly gray clouds turning our way. We all knew we would have to come up with another plan. I think most of my friends were afraid to hurt my feelings but I eventually gave in. Luckily enough, Haeree's friend was generous to let six Asians crash at her place. Even on the way to the friend's house, I kept looking out for places we might be able to sleep so we could see the stars.. Folks, it rained hard core that night...

To be honest, I complained a lot. I focused too much on the list we weren't able to check off rather than spending quality time with my friends. With little time left in Utah, I need to learn how to cherish each second with them. Who cares if we didn't get to star-gaze or burn wood or even eat those darn s'mores? We laughed, talked, pigged out on other junk food, really just enjoyed being  around each other. What was the purpose of the trip anyway? To spend quality time with friends.. Dumb Diana.
On the way back to Provo (still caught in the rain) Emily happily sighed, "this is so fun. Eating and being with you guys." My heart melted and I felt so ashamed of myself. I learned once again from the youngest baby. heehee. My sincere apologies my friends, for being such a pain in the you-know-what?

Wanted to share President Uchtdorf'ts General Conference talk with everyone. I too, learned so much from re-watching his valuable talk. Focus on the people you love! Regrets and Resolutions

Do you see those UGLY clouds??? Aishi!

Rebecca, Emily, and Grace. So adorbs!

The day before our trip at Sam's Wedding. I love these girls < 3

I learned that weather.com should never be trusted. And,  I have the most amazing friends.

And, if you're wondering what the hubs did while wifey was gone, I think he had an affair with his PS3 and Star Trek. So, it was a win-win situation for the both of us. 

My "other" other better half.

I never believed in falling in love at first sight. It took me a significant amount of time to "fall for" every single guy I ended up liking including David. However, the first time I met Ms.Rebecca Davis, I knew "love at first sight" truly existed. Friendship at first sight but friendship requires a LOT of loyalty and love. Therefore, yes. Love at first sight!

 We first met at an Asian Ward meeting, five minutes into the meeting, we both witnessed something, our eyes met, we both smiled and since then, we hit it off! 

 Out of all my close friends, I have known Rebecca the shortest. However, she is "the friend" I dreamed to meet. The older sister I never had (although I am a year older.. I think I take longer than the norm to grow up mentally). The friend that balances my extreme emotions with her logic. Still, understand my emotions. It's weird how you can find a friend that shares so many similarities to connect with, yet have different interests that broadens your horizon. Our differences helped me look at the world with a different perspective. Different, but good. One thing I have been working on, repeat, "WORKING ON" is to be more culturally and racially accepting. Thanks to Ms. Wisconsin, the I-am-all-about-diversity, Ms. Logan, UT,I -am-very-sheltered (and will only stick with Asians) slowly is trying to be more open-minded. Still trying... heehee.

Words will not be able to express the love and gratitude I have for Rebecca. In Korean, you call a friend you need on a daily basis a "Vitamin Friend." Just like needing vitamins to tackle the day, I needed Rebecca to get through mine. I think that is what Rebecca is to me. A Vitamin I need every single day to survive. Out of the two years I've known her, two weeks is the most I've spent apart from her and those were AWFUL weeks. I can't even imagine how I'll survive without Rebecca when we move. Dang it.. tears, stop wetting my cheeks! ARGARG..

I thank my Heavenly Father so much for sending me such an amazing friend. The past  two years of my life has been unbelievable. Right before Rebecca walked into my life, I was going through some difficult personal issues. When I thought I couldn't make it by myself, what do you know? She walked in. My future seemed so dark but Rebecca walked in with a beam of light. With our growing friendship, I was able to see that  the dark and dreary future was in actually dark only because I was choosing to not see the light.  I chose concentrate on the small beam of light and focus on it. Shortly after her entrance and our blossoming friendship, great things happened. No, as I decided to make better decisions, things fell into place.From then on, my life has been filled with bountiful blessings and has led me to who I am now. I honestly think Rebecca was my answer to my prayers when I asked God to shed me some light. He certainly did shed some light and sent her in my life. I only wish I was a tenth of what she was to me. She truly stuck with me through thick and thin. Now she is my sister's roommate. My sister need someone like Rebecca. Maybe Rebecca is a guardian angel Heavenly Father sent out for my family. How will we every pay her back for all the good she has brought?

Today is my dearest Rebecca's birthday. I would like everyone (the two people that read this blog) to know how grateful I am to have a friend like her. I would also like to thank my Heavenly Father for sending me someone I truly needed. And, I ask my Heavenly Father to also use me as an instrument for those in need.  I would like to be someone's vitamin just like Rebecca is to me. I love you Becca, my "other" other better half!  Have a wonderful birthday! 

My vitamin friend.Thanks Becca, for being there by my side on one
of my happiest days. I hope to be there on yours as well.

Birthday girl, Ms.Davis and friends.
This cake from Costco is to die for. White chocolate Raspberry! Mmm..
This is after all you can eat sushi lunch. Yes, Asian girls can eat!! 

Umm.. A VERY candid shot.  Mmm..
I love cake and I love Rebecca. heehee.

P.S. Irrelevant with the post but just had to throw it out there. Making lunch with the hubs at night is so fun. It's one of those small activities that seem so trivial but yet brings so much happiness. Both of us are dead tired after work and have trouble spending quality time so I am glad we could do this tonight! Although the hubs has ditched me for League of Legends  I am lovENG life with all my heart right now < 3

Labels and Love

This week, I was lucky enough to reunite with my "Fashion Master!" This lovely lady- Miss Nami Kim (Parson Grad) made her annual summer visit to Utah.

Nami and I- she has the most gorgeous smile!!! 

I love meeting Nami. It's always the rural Utah girl bombarding the city chic with endless questions about the glamorous life she earned with her brains and hard work! You go girl!! Nami also has been one of my oldest friends. So, we're quite comfortable around each other and know a little too much about each other :P  Our parents were friends when they were our age!!

Anyhow, back to the topic, because she is "the" Fashion Master,  I begged her to go shopping so I could mooch off her expertise. As we were enjoying our adventurous day she asked, "if you had a certain amount of money, what would you purchase?"

 Hmmm..

I am a girl and I can be vain- love reading magazines and watching Youtube videos Beauty Bloggers' post (my favorite ones are Hollyannaeree and Brunette Beauty Blogger. Check them out!) I do not wear a lot of make up but I do love collecting them (vain). When I secretly asked myself what I would do with an x amount of money, I started prioritizing-

I would love to own a Chanel bag and something that says Tiffany & Co. I've always wanted to use the entire collection of Makeup Forever HD line, and might as well start a perfume collection. And, forget about my F21 sunglasses and hello those $400.00 Channel sunglasses I once picked up and quickly set down. They were absolutely gorgeous! AND, I really could use some Jimmy Choos, some jewelry from Pandora. Not to mention a few items  my entire wardrobe needs to we wiped out. Oh, and I really really want to own a every single  Lancome's perfume. Ooohh,, please add  few boxes of Godvia truffles list.. and..   (Do you love how I'm thinking so much about my husband/family/friends?)

AHH. Honestly, if I really wanted to purchase that expensive bottle of D&G Light Blue 100ml, I could easily whip out my plastic friend and walkout smelling oh so citrusy and sweet! I could purchase five to ten MAC blushes, the Urban Decay eye shadow primer and their Nude eyeshadow palette, and of course, all of Benefit's liptints, the entire Wild Rose line of Korres.. you get the idea.

The question (once again), "if you had an x amount of money, and you had to purchase something tangible, what would you purchase?" was in my head the entire day. By the end of the day, I was sad I was so ... worldly, vain, and downright selfish. Why is it people try to validate their happiness with material objects? Why do we try to prove our social status or our well-being with what we owe rather than what we do? Jesus wouldn't love anyone less based on the clothing they wear, the number of degrees received, the type of career we pursue.. so why do we ? Why is it when we name a person, it's always either their occupation or academics, their "wealth", and their physical appearance. UGH. Labels, temporary happiness. Love, eternal happiness. Got it! Therefore, lots of repenting to do.

Thanks Nami, for bringing up the topic. Although she initially asked the question to make comparisons between men and women's responses.( HAHA. Comparisons between men and women? Yeah, I still have eternity to figure that one out and who knows if I'll ever understand men.. Psh)

At the end of our adventurous day, this is what I ended up purchasing- six books from DI for a whooping $5.00! (I know, the Shopaholic books. Hey, if I can't "shop away"  in real life, might as well through reading the life of Rebecca Bloomwood)! What a delicious stack of books!

For five bucks, a month's worth of entertainment.
Oh, and the love of my life in the back.. I am pretty wealthy if I do say so myself!

P.S. Okay, guilty! To be completely honest, we did walk out of Sephora with a beauty product or two. And, (now I'm just a walking contradiction) a nice thing or two wouldn't be too bad, right? Why is it so hard to live in the world but not of it? Gahh.

And, I am a bit hesitant to post because I know my mother will call and say these exact words, "honey, you don't need all those beauty products to feel prettier. You just need to lose weight." Sadly, it is probably true. So, long story short, I AM A WALKING CONTRADICTION and I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I POSTED BECAUSE ALL I NEED TO DO IS STOP BEING A GLUTTON!

Logan, UT 84321

You may think I am fresh off the boat, straight from the motherland, South Korea. However, if you ask where my hometown is, depending on my mood I will either say, "Logan, Utah" or "Gwangju, S.Korea." The past weekend, I invited the hubs and the sisters to walk down memory lane with me back to the northern city of Utah, Cache Valley. 

I was born in Hawaii but unfortunately have no memory of it. My parents decided to be cruel and moved to Utah. We moved to Gwangju when I barely turned twelve. Therefore, my childhood memories were created inside the grand mountains of Cache Valley. Itt's interesting how my childhood years were spent within the walls of the rural and innocent town, Logan. I wonder how difficult it must have been for my parents to raise four kids while being students with limited English skills and absolutely no money. They were foreign students in a very very White city. You would think my memories might be filled with tears and despair. However, no. Logan was the tiny, innocent, rural town that I dearly loved because despite the rags, we were happy. Yes, we were dirt poor. But, never had I been so in tune with mother nature. The Diana you know now hates anything to do with outside. After all, I am a prim and proper lady and have to live up to my nickname, 공주 (公主) However, the Diana back in the old Logan days absolutely loved outside activities. Climbing, sledding, biking, swimming, you name it. Believe it or not, I was adventurous! Money, the Choi family did not have but adventurous, yes we were! 

My love, the Logan Temple.

With my two sisters.

D and D at my favorite Temple.

West Stadium Valley with the sis.

Decision

We made a difficult decision today and declined one of the Medical Schools that accepted David. We had until today to choose between these two schools. We have to make another decision by the 15th. Oh joy! If you know my husband, boy oh boy does he take his time when needing to make a decision. Patience and Diana refuse to belong in the same sentence so you can imagine how frustrating it must be for me.

When my dad took him to Park City to gift him with a watch, no joke, he took almost two hours. The stylus he bought for his ipad? An entire week. It it was me, I'd step into Walmart, pick out the prettiest, blingiest one, swipe my plastic friend and happily but hurriedly hop out. However, the husband thoroughly reads every single review thrown on the Internet, watches every single review video out there. Asks me at least ten times a day which one he should get. He's been wanting a laptop for two months and still has not decided. I know, poor me! 

Medical School is different. This is his career we're talking about. Our future. Therefore, it's been an extremely L-O-N-G process. Both of us were pretty darn sure we had made up our minds but as that clock started ticking closer to the deadline, we were back to square one. By 10pm last night, we were completely lost. Indecisive. Blurry future. Yikes! 

Even today, David texted me a few times asking me if he really should say no to Case Western? I felt awful. It is a really good Medical School. Ranked in the top 25. However, it came down to our finances. Did we want to be in that much debt? Especially with my heart problem and needing to adopt? Is the school name worth the money? In the end, we both knew which school he had to decline. In the afternoon, he sent me a text saying he declined their offer. And so he did.

I know David is still sad. Today is one of those days I absolutely despise money. Money can do so much but at the same time, constrict us with too many limitations. Oh well. We both know it was the right choice. I just want to thank my husband for the sacrifice he made. We sat down and discussed what we truly valued in life. He declined for our future family and for our happiness. I am so blessed to have a husband like David. 

Now, we'll have two weeks before making another decision. Stay tuned to find out were the next four years of  David and Diana's life will take place. Cheers! 

P.S., I thought we should end our day with ice cream. David said nay, I  started to bother David, talking non-stop in my so-called British accent. He kindly asked if I would stop. I told him I would if he bought me a cold treat. And so he took me to Smiths to get some ice cream. I'm pretty sure he wanted some all along.