Hello and Goodbye

Helloo 2015!!!

A few snapshots of the last few weeks of 2014. We were spoiled, again. Thanks to the Bartletts, we mooched off them (as always) during the Holidays. Then, mom and dad (D's parents) took us to San Antonio for a quick getaway! I was also lucky enough to see  two of my very good friends, Emily and Rachel.

Em and I with our Davids at LA Burger. Gotta admit, one thing I love about Dallas is the FOOOOD~
Try their kimchi burger!!!

Chinese man and I, company Holiday Partay!

San Antonio River Walk 

Downtown San Antonio.

Alamo, San Antonio. What's up with ma face? 

It frightens me how quickly time passes. Chinese man is half done with his second year of Med School. Halfways away being halfways away with Medical School (does that make sense?)

{These are our  long overdue 2014 Christmas pictures. Pictures taken by Melanie Zelnick}.

I would love to share my New Year's resolution. However, 

My New Year's resolutions have been the exact same since 2004. Except the "find a boyfriend" one. And I've finally come to terms that the "grow an inch or two" goal  is something I have zero control of.. So I guess I can cross that one out as well.  Anyhow, except for those two goals, the gist of my goals:

lose weight, save more money, read my scriptures everyday, read at least two books a month, write in my journal, stop eating chocolate, stop eating meat, stop wasting time on You-tube and Facebook... you get the point. I'll sit down with my journal and work on all the nitty-gritty details later. 

However, this year, I asked the Lord for a special gift. I asked that He help me love the Present. 

During 2014, I've caught myself one too many times longing for the past. I'd find that some songs,  particular items, even certain scents would make me extremeley nostalgic to the point I'd break down and cry. Why? 

Because I miss the life I left in Utah- with all my friends and family?

Do I regret my past and want to relive, no, redo it again?

Or am I just afraid of the unknown future?

Mostly because  I'm drawing near to the end of another chapter in my life. And, I'm not sure if I'm ready for it.. Just yet. 

All  throughout my early twenties, I longed to be a teenager again. I wanted my parents' direct supervision, missed the  innocence, ambitions, and self-confidence I once had. I also wished for those days when my siblings and I (including my parents) all lived under the same roof... I wanted to go back so badly. They were the best of times. Or were they?

Then I married my Chinese man. As blissful as I was, a small part of me missed the times I had before D became my first priority. Before D, my first and foremost priority were my friends. 

The things we did for each other- most should remain a secret. haha.. The times we would run to each others' apartments to "report" after our dates. The times we laughed and cried over our grades or the men in our lives. I miss the countless sleepovers, make-overs, and the junkfood feast we'd partake. We all had our differences. But, we stuck together and made it through college, all of us did. We watched each other make mistakes, learn, grow, and become comfortable in our own skin. 

Then life happened-  men, school, jobs, family happened and once again changed our priorities.

Maybe since I'm the only one that left UT, it's been hardest for me. The smallest things would make weep. We welcomed 2015 while watching Midnight In Paris (my favorite movie).. And I can surely say it was a lesson sent to me. So, I'll stop thinking my past was the "golden age." I'll come to terms with the present. I'm sure me in the future will miss the times we had in Dallas. So, I'll be a new me- try my darndest to love and make the most out of the present God has given me.  The Present. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

XOXO, 

the Engs